Sickness (Day Seven)

Ugh. No wonder I've been sluggish the last couple of days; I've been coming down with the flu (or something) and it finally hit me today. I'm good for nothing when I'm sick. No drawing today.

Day Six

Nothing special to report today. I finished listing everything I'm prepared to list on Ebay, and damn was it tedious work. The nice thing is that all that stuff will add up to at least one loan payment, which makes me happy. I did draw today, but I was overtired and bored so it's not worth scanning in. I really need to work on finding more things that I think are interesting to draw so I don't get bored. Actually, I think I know what that is - my nieces and nephews. And how in the world to I keep them steady enough to draw them? Well, I guess I'll just have to start asking them to pose, but before long I'm quite sure the novelty will wear off and they'll hate it. I think what I really need is a camera, so I don't have to ask people to pose. At any rate, I'm going to start studing from this book "Anatomy made Incredibly Easy" in hopes that's not a lie.

Day Five

I didn't feel all that much like drawing today. The problem is what it's always been - I don't really know *what* to draw. I prefer drawing living things, but living things move and I'm not talented enough to draw them fast before they move too much. And it's boring to draw one's own face over and over again. Anyhow, feel like it or not, I did do some drawing. I'll probably do more before I go to bed. Since I'm not in the mood, though, the pictures are ugly. So I won't upload them. Sorrys.

Day four

sleeping kitty

A reminder today that my cat is getting on in years made me want to draw a picture of her today. In kitty years, she's probably about 80. I like the way it turned out.

Aside from drawing, there was another thing that I did today to get closer to my goal: I've started selling off many of my posessions on Ebay. It's mostly to help cover my college debt. There are some things there that I don't want to get rid of, but thinking to myself, "Aren't you willing to sacrifice this to achieve your dream?" makes it easier.

Day three (late) - The most horrible shopping day ever

Well, I didn't draw at all yesterday. But at least I have a legitimate reason for it. Yesterday was one of the biggest shopping days of the year, and I work retail. Usually I have the pleasure of working backroom, where I don't have to deal with crying babies or rude people at all. Sadly, there was little need for me to be back there today, and much need for me to be front counter. I was scheduled from 8am to 5pm with a lunch on register. When I got home, I was completely exhausted. I ate supper and went to sleep at 6pm. I woke up this morning at 3am; and heck, I could have slept longer but I thought 9hrs sleep was really enough for a girl of my age.

Frankly, I have to wonder what posseses half of the people that come out the day after Thanksgiving to do so. I understand the people who come to buy the stuff we put on ultra-cheap, but that stuff disapears within an hour of the store opening. So what about the people who come in to buy porno? Couldn't you have waited one day? I mean, really. It was hell out there. Your porno can wait. It's not like you don't have the internet. Schmucks.

Day two (and a half)

Two more sketches for today (though I'm posting late):

Corryn
Ariel

These are pictures of two of my nieces. I prefer to draw people over other things, but it's boring to have to always draw myself, so I asked them if they'd let me draw them. I'm very disapointed with the picture of Corryn, but I want to add it here for honesty's sake. I think the proportions are especially bad. The face does look like hers, though. As for Ariel, the young lady herself complained that it looked more like her sister Elizabeth than her, and she may be right.

You'll note that there are a great many eraser marks on these pictures. It's because when I'm drawing a picture that I know someone will see, I get into "that's not good enough!" mode and start the drawing/erasing cycle. I left those eraser marks unsoftened by computer technology as a lesson in drawing. I spent more time on these pictures than I did for any of the others, and yet I'm much less pleased with them.

Day one

My sketches for today were of my left hand.

The reason I'm sticking to quick sketches right now is because of this abominhable anal-retentive streak I have, that won't let me just practice for a while. I want it to look right, so I'll keep drawing and erasing and drawing and erasing until I've given up and all I have is a blank sheet of paper with eraser marks on it. The rules I'm allowing myself for the drawings I'm doing to start out are: a) must be done in under 30min, and b) must use eraser minimally (or not at all, if possible). This makes it easier for me to simply pick up my graphite stick and start drawing without being terribly focused on a perfect result.

Problems I noticed while drawing:
- difficulty keeping proportions correct
- difficulty drawing straight lines
- difficulty drawing transparent things.

Insomnia and graphite

I can't sleep. I have this excitement inside me that won't let me, like a kid on Christmas eve. I need to be steadfast, though. I recognize the first stages of infatuation; I need this love to survive through the dry period when the infatuation cools down.

Anyhow, sleepy without sleep and bored, I decided it was a good time to draw. The link is to a quick sketch of me in my jamies. It's not very detailed, but I felt good about the overall "feel" of the drawing, so I decided to upload it. It gives a good sense of my abilities up to this point. I know it looks like I'm frowning, but that's just how I look when I'm concentrating. The picture ends where my vanity mirror ends, which is why there's nothing below my shoulders.

A new begining

We all have dreams. Some are small and practicable. While some are far-off visions of worlds we may not even believe we can ever reach. On November the 22, 2004, I fully accepted that I'm going to go chase one of the castles in the sky that I've long dreamed of.

From this moment on, I will treat this dream is if it is 100% certain of happening, and all I have to do is pursue it. I've always felt that if you really believe that you can do something, you will find a way to do it. My ultimate dream? To become an animator with Pixar. Before you ask: Yes, it specifically has to be Pixar. It was this studio that lit the already-present ember. Moreover, the creative environment there is the only one for which I would accept being in the horrid film industry in the first place - except for perhaps Studio Ghibli, and I don't speak Japanese, so that's out.

The steps I plan to use in achieving this dream are:

1. I will take time out of every day to draw. It doesn't matter how bad the drawings are, I will continue even if disgusted by my own lack of facility. It is only through drawing, drawing, drawing what the eye sees that I can improve.
   
2. I will write down my daily progress in this blog to keep myself motivated. If I get the nerve, I'll post scans of my daily drawings here. Be warned that at least my early work will probably be amateurish, ugly, and boring.
   
3. To my daily prayers, I will add a petition that God help me to achieve this desire.
   
4. I will finish my current degree in music. This is a tough one; I really don't want to. But I can't move on until this is done. I'll forever feel that I've left a job uncompleted. It's only one more semester, so it shouldn't seem like such a job to me, but it does.
   
5. I will finish paying off all my college debts.
   
6. After my debts are paid, I will move to Dallas/Ft. Worth and begin investigating my options in enrolling in the Art Institute of Dallas, on the animation track. I expect to be free to be able to do this in 3-5 years.

That's the basic outline of my plan. I'm putting it in writing to cement and clarify my goals to myself. God grant that I may achieve them.